"it's coming from a woman who changes her mind every 2 seconds like all women do."

I suppose I'm biased since I was married and then divorced by Julia.

Yes, women ( and men ) tend to vacillate. But marriage is not an institution known for improving opinions over time. ( Familiarity breeds contempt &tc. )

Optimists tend to be hopeful that if it starts with esteem for the other, that this can be maintained over time.

The divorced know that sometimes she starts out believing you're a great catch and ends up believing you're a loser. But I know of nobody who believes that something starting in acrimony will be improved through marriage.

Similarly abusiveness towards children tends towards entropic increase. Hopefully abusive attitudes are neither present at the start nor intrude later. But if you start with someone who takes out her frustrations on her children you can be guaranteed that you will see her do this with your children.

Kids, and you deserve better.

Dante