If only I knew. I fell in love with a 11-12 year old because she had a foundation to build a fortress on. First time and only time I have ever met a child that was so sure of themselves they could take on anything and had life itself by the balls to use a term.

I think I have found that it somewhat comes down to this (opinion based on my own observation of course)-

1) Walk in the light as much as possible. As in only do things socially acceptable. This is certainly down near impossible for us as just existing for many is socially unacceptable. Not to mention visiting this site. But, whenever possible I think it absolute best to be as close as to holding no secrets that you wouldn't want others to know about as possible.

2) Be sociable. Have lots of friends. Have close ones and semi close ones and acquaintances. Have a good mixture. Be involved with those friends. Hard one for me as I generally like only having female friends of any age, but I've found I've been enjoying the stuff I'm doing with the guys even if before and during it I might be slightly wanting to do something else.

3)Volunteer. If it wasn't for volunteering I don't think I would have pulled out of my suicidal depression. It also helped greatly with number 2 on the list as I got to know a wide network of people.

4) Do social activities with friends. I know go horse riding fairly frequently, go see the movies with a group, and hold gatherings with lots of food at my place once a week. It took a little bit as I had to force myself to start doing all these things, but I have come to enjoy them and even lately wake up with excitement over doing those things later which is something I haven't done since I was a child.

5) This will probably controversial and one I don't even necessarily follow, but from everything observable it seems true. Have a spiritual aspect to your life. Know that everything is headed for something better and greater. Everyone I can truly point to and say they have life and know what it's about has this aspect to them.

Every one of them that has what you talk about has these aspects. They are all also optimists or are at least neutral. None are pessimists.

I will say that ever since going for 2,3, and 4 my life has gotten better by leaps and bounds. I think 1 and 5 might be impossible for me though. However, life for me has been pretty dang good as of late.