Those who've spent time in relationships and parenting know that not every act which occurs is a loving act.

When I get snippy at the wife, does it mean I don't love her? Of course not. But am I acting out of love? Of course not.

It neither looks that way to an outsider, nor does it feel that way from the inside.

When what you feel is irritation and you express that irritation it isn't the feeling of love that motivates you.

Exactly. The behavioral part of a loving relationship is important, but it doesn't define what love is. The parameters of a functional relationship are not synonymous with love. L ove is a big part of it, but they aren't interchangeable concepts.

Any parent who has disciplined a child in any way knows that what they feel is fear ( for the child's safety ) and a host of other emotions. But that discipline does not cultivate nor come out of the feeling of love, nor is an act of love.

Nonsense. Discipline can arise from different things, but one of them is a fear for the well-being of the child. Why do you fear for the child's well-being? Because you care about them. If you didn't, then you likely aren't going to bother, unless you're either a sadist or acting out of rage, but even those things don't necessarily negate long-term feelings of love and protectiveness.