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You're welcome....

Posted by jd420 on Saturday, September 27 2014 at 09:17:25AM
In reply to Thank You Sick Freak Toddler-Diddler posted by Luka on Saturday, September 27 2014 at 07:47:55AM

Oh. You meant another one.

You have to admit, you phrased it sort of generically in the subject line.

Yes...IT WAS I WHO FAILED TO EMPLOY THE WILL-POWER TO TAKE CONTROL OF MY BAD CHOICES.

Oh, btw... you're still doing it.

It's not so much "willpower" - that's a myth, and already sets up a struggle of self-against-self, a losing battle of increasing non-integration. Usually, it's just deciding to look within and accept what you find there.

Similarly, it's a short journey from "bad choices" to "bad person," a "I did something countercultural so I'm naughty and must punish myself" cycle.

There are no "bad choices;" there is attaining the results one was seeking from one's means of getting there or not. Seeing as one's entire post revolves around self-punishment, I'd say you did a pretty good job; the only question remaining is whether that goal is prudent.

IF YOU PLANT ICE...YOU`RE GONNA HARVEST WIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...actually, it's usually "if you don't sprout your beans first, you're going to harvest wind."

Anyways - everything in your post suggests you're still trying to "punish" yourself, which begs the question "for what?" (as well as where you learned that "punishing" people was a constructive response in the first place - I'd tend to blame your parents for the last 40+ years on those grounds alone, but who knows). So, it's apparently not a past-tense thing.

Luckily, the time is always now. You can look within and try to find what's in those dusty corners... right now, any now you choose. All it really takes is a willingness to accept what you find - and everyone deserves to do that. It's okay.

You're right - not in the sense of "failure" or "willpower," but in the fact that you are the only person who can take responsibility for what's inside, and decide what to do with it. Only you can comb through everything in the attic - like a belief in "punishment" - and decide if you want to keep it, or if those people were just nuts... but it's always right now, every second of your life.

Whatever you choose, good luck.

Sincerely,
sick freak toddler-diddler.


jd420





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