GirlChat #603696

Start A New Topic!  Submit SRF  Thread Index  Date Index  

just talk. please do me a favor, read and comment

Posted by infantile on Monday, October 13 2014 at 7:38:02PM
In reply to test posted by infantile on Monday, October 13 2014 at 7:36:55PM




In being a pedophile, finding meaning in my life seems to be a chore. I mean, i absolutely love children. and it outweighs my lust for them. but just like the average adult-male, i find children quite unsatisfying. thats really the only word I have for it at the moment. i guess what i should say is that truly they are not my everything. thinking they are is just an illusion. ok. maybe they are my everything, and a reason to live, but to chase them as though i need them more than the average adult male, thats where life becomes dull and generic. i mean, those moments then, when not around children, are just a waiting game. waiting for the next moment of happiness. when your dream or whatever finally arrives, its great. but its not necessarily real. i mean, as a pedophile, youll never have what you wish for and dream about. its just not possible. she can lust, she can have affection. she cannot simultaneously have both. so, who cares if she wants you to fuck her. it doesnt mean anything. and while you cuddle with her, lusting to the point of touching her in sexual ways, she allows it because she knows you want it. she trusts you, etc.. she doesnt know why you are doing it though, or if she does because youve explained, she doesnt want it. or maybe shes cool with it. but then what if she turns out to be a pleaser. always wanting to please men. where did her free spirit go? you know what i am saying? maybe once she hits puberty, the real relationship will be possible, but we want prepubescent. so anyways, lets say, you go down on this prepubescent child. she loves it. the tickling, the wonderful feeling, etc.. now she demands that men always please her. there just doesnt seem to be a way to make sure everything is always balanced out and that in the long run she will be the person she would be if none of this ever happened. im saying, its a major risk to take to have sexual relations with a child, and if you truly love them, then you wouldnt risk anything. but life without intimacy, closeness. its empty. so its just you and her. no sexual events. you say no when she wants it. still though, you want more, life needs to be more satisfying. what do you do? yo i grew up a pedophile, knowing i was one. now im not so sure im the same as i was. i like to say im a pedophile, because it feels right. but i just dont think ill ever find a true happiness in it. maybe someone can offer some advice or help me out. im really fairly lonely. but im learning to enjpoy that. my own company. just knowing i have a good heart helps. i dont want to hurt a soul, or say what anyone else does is wrong or right. you know? furthermore, i dont think any of you here are "monsters". maybe having a child lover friend in real life would help me out. you know.. we could go out and enjoy beauty together. talk about it. find meaning in life or whatever it is together.
maybe i just want a little girl to love me and like know shell take care of me.. you know, whatever is missing, she will be there. and ill be able to appreciate the moment. knowing that it all feels right. then we can get married. and you know.. live that life we all want. of course like i said. its most likely not possible. so maybe thats why fantasies are sometimes better than reality. its like star wars. that world doesnt exist unless we dream about it. too bad you have to live in reality cuz the alternate one seems to be better. maybe ill take up lucid dreaming or somehting, get a little sex every night. sometimes those dreams leave me feeling satisfied, and im not in no hurry to get back to bed or anything cuz i mean, i have what i want and it will last forever. that is, if i want it too. you know what im sayin.... dreams dont go away. but im a depressed person (i take medication for it) so i always want to escape. guess thats the hard part. anyways thanks for letting me ramble. hope i didnt make anyone mad or anything and id appreciate any feedback or advice on how i can find/achieve a lasting happiness, content, satisfaction, etc... thanks




Follow ups:

Post a response :

Nickname Password
E-mail (optional)
Subject







Link URL (optional)
Link Title (optional)

Add your sigpic?