1. You won't find happiness looking for it from something outside yourself. That LG you think will make everything perfect will come with some baggage. Only you can put the baggage down.

2. Fantasy is always better than reality for me. Every single realization of a fantasy I have had has been disappointing in some way when practiced in the real world. (that's not to say that the real event, although less perfect than the fantasy, was not enjoyable or worth the effort - just it never rings the top bell. This is probably by design to keep us searching and actively trying again).

3. You are a pedo and have limitations on the legal expression of your interests. Everyone has limitations on their interests however, even if legality is not an issue, so in that respect, a pedo is no different than anyone else in being frustrated cause they can't make their ideals their reality.

I don't mean to downplay the heartfelt desperation in this post. I feel it too. I imagine we all do, at least some of the time.

Try not to let it get you down. That's all you can do.