We have such a special relationship.

The people around us... they don't mind at all. Some even find it very sweet/cute. They take it at face value: a young guy and a little girl who're just so fond of one another.

I am very limited in how affection I can share with her by our more "formal" environment. It frustrates me to some extent, but honestly I'm not even sure if any extra affection would be all that well received by her. She's not the type to cling, ya know?

What we do have are subtler hints at romance - an adoring smile here, a prolonged touch there.

One thing she likes to do, when she's handing me something or vice/versa, is to gently let her fingers trail off of mine. She'll do this repeatedly if we're handing something back and forth, each of us becoming bolder and bolder until we're actually letting our hand (and the object) rest in the other's for several seconds each time before letting go.

I do have a protective streak when it comes to those I care about, and she is no exception. She knows I am her "bodyguard". She doesn't play it up, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't mind; she seems to appreciate that I look out for her, so long as I don't interfere to the point of coddling (which she hates).

She trusts me so much. It's not the kind of trust that kids just inherently have for adults they see frequently, either. It's the more personal kind of trust - the kind built up over time between two friends. That trust is so important to me.

She considers me her friend - best friend, no less - but there are certain romantic undertones to the relationship which I described earlier. Perhaps she recognizes them as "romantic", or perhaps she is not quite there yet (though my gut tells me she is; she's not that far away from puberty at this point). Either way, they exist, and they are so important to me.

Things are not perfect between us. We went through an extremely awkward phase over the summer, and occassionally that awkwardness will creep it's way back into our interactions.

But when it does, it is only oh-so-temporary. It never takes us very long to remember ourselves, and by the end of the evening things will always end up feeling alright again.

Until her Mum or Dad shows up and says, "time to go".

And then I remember that this angel in my life is someone else's kid....

And then she's just... gone....

And then I feel sad for a little while.

But then I tell myself, "Rainbow, you're gonna' get depressed again. You gotta' come to your senses, man."

And I spend some time thinking about this wonderful, special relationship I've had with you for... going on two years now. How we've been through so much. How you've saved my life. How I'm no longer afraid to love, because of you.

The little girl who's just so fond of that young guy... the young guy who's just so fond of her.

I am her pedo. She is my girl, I am her pedo.

I am her one and only Rainbow.

I wish so badly that I could say it to you, that we could even get that far, but since I can't, and since we won't:

I love you. XOXO

- Rainbow