There Is a Point

Hi Foreverman,
You ask:

"Whats the point in carrying on?"

The obvious answer is, because you have no choice. You have to carry on. You are a GL and will be attracted to young girls all your life.

A better question would be, "How can I love a girl without having it end in heartbreak?" The answer is only found in cold rationale. It cannot be an answer from the heart. Instead, the solution must come from the brain; the organ best equipped to plan strategically. Here are some things I try to keep in mind when I am with LGs.

1) When talking to the parents about their daughter, I always talk about what she feels; never about my own feelings other than in the most general of terms. I never say, "Your daughter is very special to me", because that sets off immediate alarm bells.

2)Never put anything in writing that you can't easily explain to the parents. Always write things to the girl that could be interpreted as affectionate but "normal".

3) This is hard, but never overtly chase or pursue the girl, even if you miss her terribly. To do that would give the impression that your feelings are obsessive. More alarm bells go off in the parents head.

4)You may not agree with me on this one, but I don't even tell the girl how much she means to me. I do act in a loving way, especially when we are alone, but I do not want her going home and innocently telling Mommy or Daddy that, "Mr 28 thinks I'm beautiful and wants to be my girlfriend. He's in love with me". I also do not tell her exactly how much I care because I do not want her to have to keep anything a secret from her parents or from her friends. I think the, "this is our secret" entreaty is very damaging emotionally to a LG, and possibly one of the reasons abuse victims have later problems. Kids really aren't very good at keeping secrets and I wouldn't ask her to keep one that has any kind of serious consequence (such as never being allowed to see each other again) if revealed.

5) I never tell the parents of my physical or emotional desires. I do tell them of my nurturing and affectionate side. I try to come across as a "kid person" who loves children, rather than as a pedophile who has sexual desires for them. Sometimes what is, is not as important as what appears to be. Other times, what it is I choose to show is not ALL there is; but it is all I can safely share if I am to live a fulfilled and happy life.

The secret to avoiding heartbreak is to know that our love is like a rose; most of the plant is thorny but at one special moment in time, it produces a beautiful flower. When we experience the rose, we know that it will only be in bloom for a short period of time, but nonetheless, inhale deeply and allow it's fragrance to enrich our souls.

28