I was right there!! (The kiss that could never be)

Did you cross the line? Its not easy to tell

If you want a completely rational response, there are criteria you can use to put yourself a line; yet even then it will not always be clear whether you are crossing it or not

1. Did you touch her? Generally speaking, did you do anything that could be misinterpreted by her or other people? (Context here is crucial, of course) - so, yes parents (and anyone else who happens to be around) count

2. Did you do anything illegal with her? - law counts

3. Did you do anything against her will? - SHE counts

4. Did she know and understand what you (and she) were doing? - YOU count, as well as her

Given what you post, it seems to me that the answers are 1- No; 2- No; 3- No (even if she did want you to kiss her, you didnt do anything against her will, you just failed to do her will, which is way different) and 4- Yes. With these answers, no, you didnt cross a line. You came close to crossing it by turning the first No into a Yes, but ultimately you didnt cross a line

Ive been too close to the line several times, and it has sometimes marked me, reason why I detail 5 different GMs that were so close

For the first GM I will quote myself from a recent post

Now, there was one time when I did more than just look, and afterwards I felt bad about it. I wanted to tell you, and any feedback is more than welcome. I was in the subway train doing a long route, and in a station at the middle of my route two girls enter by the door in front of me. They were both around 13-14 and incredibly beautiful. I was speechless all the time during the journey. Then I decided to take a step a bit too brave I wrote a note to them telling them how so pretty they were and that I regretted not knowing them. Now, I am not that brave, so, since I had written it in a post-it (I always carry them to write any note I need), I stuck it to one their backpacks when they left (my route was even longer than theirs). I expected them not to notice it right then. However, somehow they moved around each other and they noticed the note, read it, and apparently deducted it was me, all of that before the gates even closed I supposed so given the half-surprised, half-curious, half-freaked out and half-giggling look they gave me that moment, until the gates closed. Now, did I cross a line? I didnt touch them the slightest, and even if I gave them the note, I was never to receive an answer; it was only a free ego-booster for them. Still, do you think that I crossed a line? I kinda felt bad afterwards. Now I think it was all right, but I still have a tiny little doubt in my head and I would feel better if I removed it (even if you think it was wrong)

Now that I have thought up a test to evaluate when someone is crossing the line, lets apply it and solve my dilemma. Q1: I didnt touch them, but I sure made something that could have been misinterpreted. I tried to minimise that possibility by making the note and sticking it to their backpacks so I didnt have to say it face-to-face (that changes the context from a fellow passenger to a complete secret admirer). But because they saw the note before we lost eye contact, I have to say the answer is more probably yes they could have misinterpreted me. Q2: No, it was not illegal. I didnt write anything sexually explicit, or harassing. I didnt try to follow them when they left. If I had left the train before them, yes, I would have given them the note hand-in-hand and run away afterwards! So, the answer is no. Q3: Although they did not ask for a note, certainly, I believe that this is not a thing which implies a big deal. In the end, if they sincerely didnt like it, all they had to do was dump it in a trash bin. However, my heart dreams that the note is stuck somewhere in their bedrooms as a reminder of how cute they are. Anyway, although the answer is yes, I believe that the action involved does not make a yes a big deal here I might have forced them to know I thought they were cute, but that implied no physicality at all. Q4: Well, they knew and understood what I had done. I had written a note of youre cute and they had read it. Nothing more, nothing less. In short, we have yes, no, yes and yes. My own test implies I crossed the line, if only because I got a Q1 yes because they found the note too early.

All the remaining GMs are old. I was 16 back then and my hair was nice and long. I was a teenager falling for girls half his age and realising maybe he was more special than even he thought possible

The second GM should actually be posted by Furbydad. There was this 8 year-old I was absolutely crazy about, head over heels. Well, there was a time when she actually showed me her panties (white cotton with little pink hearts, at that!) for about half an hour entire! She was sitting in front of me, almost in line. Im pretty sure it was all intentional. She had a short, light blue, denim skirt on, to begin with. She sat with her thighs slightly up (rather than horizontal) and her legs somewhat apart (rather than closed tight or crossed). It was obvious that I would be able to see her panties from where I was. I was also the only person who was in front of her, so nobody else could look, or know that I was looking. Well, only she could. And she obviously did know and she obviously was doing it intentionally. If I had any doubt it could be a lucky accident, she gave me several mischievous looks and giggles to confirm that she was showing me her panties. It was as if she was actually saying hey, look at my panties! Im showing to you; nobody else can look! Do you like them? Are they nice? In case it is still not clear, of course I did look up her skirt. Who wouldnt? And to top it all, several times she combined her mischievous looks and giggles with short changes of position that gave me other angles or opening her legs further for a few seconds. Of course she knew what she was doing! And, after a whole half-hour, she seemed to think it fine to end the game and sat in a more ladylike position, not without giggling a final time and telling a secret to her friend next to her, who giggled herself in turn. (More on that friend later) This is all true.

Line-crossing test: I didnt touch her. She mustve been like 10 feet away from me. Some could consider inappropriate to look at LG panties, but nobody except for her could have known I did. After all, the brain doesnt have a searchable cache directory. I broke no law. Using my eyes as God intended is not illegal except for CP or privacy violations, but she was the one exposing herself she broke the law if anyone did, not me! I did nothing against her will. It was all too clear she was willingly showing me and she was not against me looking. And yes, she knew what she was doing. So, I didnt cross the line, but it sure came close

Third GM: this one might be edited. Mods, if you feel its inappropriate, feel free to delete this GM. I post it because I think it is relevant and will try to phrase it wisely, but if you think it still violates the rules, its ok if you edit it out.

OK, that other girl who was in the receiving end of the secret (which I bet was he was looking at my panties for a whole half-hour!) was another very cute 8 year-old, soon to be 9. There was one time when I was sitting, talking to several boys and girls at the same time, who were standing around me. Well, she approached me, came closer and closer until her leg was in contact with my knee. I didnt remove my leg; I thought there was no need for me to do it. Then she discreetly (remember there were more kids around?) put her crotch fully against my knee and began, well, masturbating with my knee. Now I could not remove my leg without letting her know I knew what she was doing. So I left it there, pretended not to notice what she was doing and continued talking with her and the rest of the kids until she let go. There was a repeat of that, except that I was standing. Same scenario: kids around me and we are all talking and she approaches until she ends up against my leg. And again she discreetly masturbates against me. And again I pretend not to notice and continue talking as before.

I didnt touch her, but yes it can be misinterpreted which is why I acted like I didnt feel she was there. I believe reacting to her could have been an implicit acceptance that I thought she was not all that innocent and blah, blah, blah It wasnt illegal because I did nothing to make her do that actually, for all I know, it could be me misinterpreting what she was doing. I didnt prevent it either, but preventing it could have put both of us at greater risk, especially given we were far from alone right then. Of course, since it was just her who did something, I did nothing against her will. And I believe she knew very well what she was doing but I hope she never knows I knew. Yet another reason not to notice: if I had given her a sign I knew what she was doing and still complied with her doing it, well, worse for both. Did I cross it, then? Given I answer all questions ambivalently, maybe I did; but I tried to assure the least risky scenario. I believe that both explicitly complying and preventing would definitely have crossed the line given the situation a lot of other kids around!

Fourth GM is again the girl of the panties. By now she was 9 already. We were in a big, huge, party. I was sitting with a few friends all about my age. She arrives there with her cousin, a girl about 12-13 and also cute, though not as cute as her. She introduces her cousin and me to each other. We start talking, and two minutes later she, without any kind of provocation or encouragement, out of her own gut, gets her hand into my pants pocket and does like shes looking for something. Now, I have no idea (and for my peace of mind I dont want to have any idea) if she had the intention to ncxhgjmnbc or not; or even if she realised she ncxhgjmnbced or not; but lets just say I immediately pulled her hand out of my pocket and as far away from it as possible. If that wasnt enough, she asked me a question right then. I dont want to say what the question was. What it implied, however (and there could be no doubt of it, least of all given the context of what had just happened), was along the lines of this 9 year-old girl wants to bed me right now! After I answered, not really in control of my mind anymore, she and her cousin left me, all giggling. I then realised I was her total slave and that she had practically complete control over me. I also learned things about my anatomy that never would have thought possible. And then I went to get some drinks (now I really needed to get drunk); and got really wasted!

The test here is clear. SHE evidently crossed the line; and put me in bad danger of doing it myself.
(Q1- yes for her, yes for me too but she forced the situation; Q2- yes for her, no for me but the judge would have a hard time believing me; Q3- yes for her, no for me; Q4- maybe not for her, totally yes for me wow! She scores perfect for crossing the line!)

(And obviously, this GM alone can make me laugh my ass out at anyone who even hints at children asexuality. Some people need a 9 year-old girl to try to molest them, LOL)

This same girl is the star character of the fifth GM, although its really before the fourth in chronological order, just about two weeks after her ninth birthday. She had just been bullied by boys and girls of an older class. She was alone and crying. I couldnt take it, at all. I talked to her. I tried to comfort her. I had her wash her hands, a bit dirty now, and with which I didnt want her to touch her eyes. I wiped her tears off her face with my fingers, in what I now consider the most special moment of my life. I told her that she shouldnt pay attention to what others had said. She was a lot better than them in all respects. She would someday show them that. She had no reason to cry, because she was a lot more than they thought. And she was so special.

Up to there, I hadnt crossed the line. And it stayed that way. However

When I finished my short self-esteem speech, silence came. We both looked into each others eyes. Her whites were actually pink, out of her crying. But never before had her yellow-green eyes (I swear that colour exists, and no, shes not a feline!) been as expressive as then. And they said thanks for making me feel special. And a tender, reassured smile appeared. And I still dont know what on earth contained me from confessing all I felt for her right there and then, and kiss her lips and French her. Thats what was going in my mind right then. That would have been to cross the line and that is as near as I came to it.

But that specific GM has haunted me ever since. I still dream with it. And in my dreams I have been to so many parallel universes. Sometimes it ends up as it did in RL. Sometimes it ends with us living happily ever after. Sometimes she tells me she loves me, and I cry of joy. Sometimes I tell her I love her and she hugs me. Sometimes it somehow gets sexual (which given the situation was about the last thing that could happen). And sometimes the magick happens: our lips touch and the kiss becomes real. I still dream of her deep pink lips and the kiss that could never be. When I wake up, my heart is broken. I know that little moment was my lifes watershed. If I had kissed her, I would be a sex-offender and she would be a victim. I didnt do it and now I am a Girl Lover and she is a beautiful if stereotypical teenager. I dont love her anymore and she has already grown out of my normal AOA and is much less appealing to me than she was between 5 and 12. But what a crazy world, where I am kinda inside a Greek myth, doomed to eternity, having to dream with the kiss that could never be!!!!