reminds me of a girl...

i'd forgotten about that one - interestingly enough it became a hit right around the time i was involved with a woman and her six year old daughter, and for some reason that wasn't clear to me at the time (i was in denial) i immediately associated this song with that particular girl. her dad had recently been acrimoniously booted out of the picture, and her mom was busy setting me up to serve as a replacement.

N used to keep pennies in the freezer, and them slip them into bed with mom and me, in the mornings - it's quite an experience rolling over onto something like that, to find a little girl squinting into your face, studiously examining your expression...

she had the most delightful giggle - deep and almost masculine, like a bark, kinda - and a way of eating french fries, with her little finger sticking out, that sticks in my mind to this day...

i remember one time i was sleeping over at her grandparent's place - mom was out somewhere, i forget why - and N showed up in the middle of the night, looking for her mom, crying about a bad dream. i raised the covers, thought she might like to climb in anyway, but she shook her head and went into her grandparents room instead.

i was very conflicted about that incident, because i realised that i had really really wished that she'd climbed in with me, and meantime was desperately trying to convince myself that my intentions had been perfectly honourable - but unfortunately my nether head wasn't so confused, and had immediately made it's own wishes kinda unavoidably obvious.

in the long run it's a good thing N wasn't that interested in my company, and i ended up burying the memory deep.

thanks for reminding me.

it's a great song, i think - bruce is a master at painting emotional landscapes like that, and i'd like to think he would understand (if not share) my specific feelings in regard to this particular track.