"because that's all they've ever learned. in essance, they're ignorant. in another way, they're only doing what they think is best"

One of the most common and repeated fallacies, born out of the noble desire to show everyone in the brightest light possible.
No, this is not the reason for most of them. The reason for most is egoism, and a miriad of psychological fixations, complexes, and defence meachanisms, which result in the tendency to force children into a standardized, cold and limiting mold that has nothing to do with the actual nature of children. The same defence mechanisms help the adu;ts convince themselves in any number of justifications, the most common of which are that it's done for the childrens own good, tha this is the way it has always been and therefore the way it should be, or both.

"so, even haivng THEM realize, and find out what they REALLY are at the core of their own being could take some work (just, make them shed some of the BS layers of fakeness schools are parents have put on them)"

Very true, but there's another point that should be taken into consideration, and is very important:
Extreme caution needs to be applies in the process of freeing a child from these "layers of BS" in the quest for theyr true nature. Because it is VERY easy to fall into the same trap mainstream culture wiggles in, and let our preconceptions, wishful thinking, and other things that are ours and not theyrs, leak into the petri dish and taint the process. This can make the would-be liberator no better than the opressor, because instead of freeing them from an alien conception of self, such an insufficiently careful person would be just replacing one alien conception with another, equally alien one.

And for dissert, here's soemthing that gives hope:
With all of postmodernism's evils, some good actually comes of it as well. In our new age, there are experimental centers of progressive education in many countries, inclueding many kindergartens and schools, where children are given the freedom to start theyr development on theyr own. Culture is given to them in a natural way - when they reach for it in curiosity {which is natural for them to do}, and not pushed down theyr throat. We are yet to see an adult whose childhood was spent in one of these, since it is a very recent fenomenon, but it definately gives hope.