Thank you very much for what you wrote; I think it is helpful to people because it is very clear. Indeed realising that it is pointless is a big factor. It leads nowhere, you always want more, it costs your peace of mind. In general, illusions will always let you down.
I am very glad that I quit that addiction. I am more free, more at peace, more inspired, more into my heart. It makes a huge difference. I can enjoy simple pleasures now.

As to your question: yes, I am attracted towards her.

To me it does not matter if it is a paedophile thing or no.
With her, it is harder to quit the obsession; to focus my energies elsewhere and take my mind of it. This is because she is always there.
But still, I go for this course. Because obsessing over her is pointless too. What helps me overcome it is my love for her, her love for me; our contact. And looking away as often as I can.
By the way, sometimes it is very nice too. Sometimes I can just enjoy it. But other times I start obsessing and I do not know how this works; why the one day I can enjoy and the other day it hurts.