Re: Some amplification re my nieces

Well, I think if she is 13, she is old enough to know some things...

You know your family's situation better than me or anyone else here, so my opinion might be completely off the mark, but that's just my take on it...

I do think that she is already at an age where you can explain to her, at least partially, why you don't want / cannot do more things with her or being alone with her. You know how comfortable you are with the whole situation, so you know how much you're willing to tell her. Still, I bet you can tell her at least part of the reason, without needing to reveal it all and without needing to badmouth any other member of the family. Just think about it - my point is, I'd approve your approach as both practical and risk-minimising if she was younger; yet I think that by age 13 she can understand a lot more about the situation than you seem to grant her. Keep in mind that by that age almost every girl is having periods and a significant part of girls have started doing sexual stuff with peers; meaning that even if she hasn't, she surely knows girls of her age who have, and is therefore aware that sexual feelings happen...

In any case, you are the one who knows and understands the situation and the one who should take the decision when to tell her. And since the fallout would be on you, you have every right and duty to be as cautious as possible, certainly...