Hello everyone. I posted a couple of days (or so) ago to say I was relieved to find the board again and to also say that I had changed my nick for purely personal aesthetic reasons (from Outcast1).

Last January, I posted a re-introduction of sorts upon returning here after an absence of several years (I originally came here in 2001, and after I was "outed", was not around for that interval; my "outing" had nothing to do with GC except that my original nick may have been compromised).

A follow-up post (here if you want to read it) talked about the fact that one of my regrets about being "outed" was that it changed to some extent the character of my relationship with two of my nieces, in particular the one who is now 13.

Well, after that post, back in March, I decided to once more move away from my family (it was work-related, not to get away from my family), and at one point, my precious niece mentioned once more the possibility that "maybe before you leave, we can do something special -- just you and me."

Well, I mentioned to my sister that my niece had said that, and told her I'd love to be able to do that. To my pleasant relief, she said she thought it was a great idea and that if I had time (oh, if only she knew that I'd move mountains for time with my niece like we used to have), it would be fine.

Well, later that week, one day after school, I picked up my niece and we went on our special outing together. We had been talking about what she'd like to do (various possibilities like going to a movie, bowling, or whatever had come up), and she finally said she'd like to go play miniature golf, ride go-carts, play LazerTag and mess around in the batting cages (they have all that stuff at a place in town), but mostly just "hang out".

So, in spite of the fact that I was "outed" on her 9th birthday, and our contact has been more limited in scope since then, we went out and we both had the grandest time. She laughed and giggled and grinned many times throughout the afternoon and evening.

We had fun sampling everything at the amusement place, including playing some arcade games (I used to play in the same arcade when I was in high school, so it brought back some good memories of that also). I won slightly in the golfing, but she kicked my butt in LazerTag.

Perhaps the most special thing about it all to me was that at the end of our excursion, she talked about how she wanted us to keep all of our scorecards and things to remember our special time by -- maybe to put into a scrapbook. The time was as special to her as it was to me, and we connected in ways that we hadn't in a long time.

I will forever treasure that little outing (I would call it a "date", because in effect that's what it was, but because the word "date" connotes something sexual or romantic, I hesitate to use that word; my attraction to my niece does not have a "sexual" component, though she is a very beautiful teenager, just as she was a beautiful child; it is more of an emotional energy and closeness; that fact -- the nature of the relationship with my niece as opposed to the nature of my relationships with other children in my past -- could be an introspective post of its own, so I won't comment further unless I need to for clarification) for two reasons: (1) it was the first time since I was "outed" several years ago that I was able to do something alone with my niece, and perhaps serves as a bridge or turning-point in my life; and (2) I don't know how much longer my niece will want to do something with me -- she will surely reach those teen years when she is embarrassed to be seen with her parents or any other adult she knows -- but at least I have this moment to hold always.

And, as a post-script to that GM back in March, I can say that over the past few months, I will periodically get a text message on my phone, and it will be from my niece, out of the blue. "I luv U! Hv a gr8 day! Miss U!" or something along those lines. And of course, I do the same.

Very cool.

I hope you will agree that even post-dated GM's are always good currency.

Now, I will go back to lurking.

girlFriend (the poster formerly known as Outcast1, even more formerly known as . . . uh-oh . . . can't do that as paranoia still prevails -- and you don't give a sh*t anyway -- ha ha)