hi Anthony. nice to have an expression of interest that isn't fixated on crime and punishment, lol.
I have a ton a of questions, namely, what do you go through when you realize that you have an attraction to children? Or, is that even the right question? What is the number one thing you would want people to know about this community?
those are good questions. people don't spend a lot of time considering what it is like to be attracted to kids.
people don't realize that many of us were just kids ourselves when we became aware of our difference. for most, that was the beginning of years of shame and guilt and confusion. a lot of us have suffered depression or attempted suicide at some time in our lives.
living in today's society, with the way it thinks about us, it takes focus and courage to back yourself. all the same, the rewards of self acceptance and self management are considerable. among them is the benefit for society of not having sad, desperate, alienated individuals developing compulsive sexual fixations on children.
pedophiles have filled positive roles throughout history, as teachers, caregivers, storytellers and companions for young people. for most of us i think nurturing is really what this orientation is about -- the sexual feelings are real, but secondary. all society's moralizing about sexual behavior and amplifying the impact of minor sexual transgressions is like a trap. society writes the pedophile persona as calculating and perverse and does everything it can to make it a self fulfilling prophecy.
i think you'll find most people here value the happiness and wellbeing of kids, especially kids they love, far and above the satisfaction of their occasional sexual impulses. the more they discover opportunities and find support in expressing their feelings in socially acceptable ways, the less they feel a need to act out sexually.
it stinks that pedophiles have become the single minority group against which hate speech, prejudice and discrimination are not just allowed, but encouraged. pedophilia is not a choice, and it can make life very difficult. pedophiles should be able to seek free, confidential and informed counselling, not have to live in fear of mandatory reporting rules.
some people here have come out to close friends and family, and thats a very difficult thing to do. what makes it difficult is that so many people have preconceptions created by media exploiting salacious interest in pedophilia to sell copy, and governments using fear of it to justify new social controls and the erosion of civil liberties.
i'm an educated person, and i've thought a lot about my sexual orientation, but it remains very mysterious to me. i would like to see some efforts to understand pedophilia as a human condition, not as a psychiatric illness or a forensic problem. i can't just draw up a list of what i wld like people to know. its more a question of people being prepared to suspend judgement and seek a better understanding together with us. i would like people to know that most of us don't want to hide. we just have no choice.