its a really good question, and difficult to answer.

i think pedophiles are vulnerable to compulsions and obsessions in large part becos they have no easy way to integrate their feelings with their everyday experience, so the feelings become detached from and somewhat outside the purview of conscious monitoring and impulse control. i think this contributes to obsessions like the one with child pornography, and can precipitate sexual behaviour that is ill advised or harmful.

it isn't only pedophiles who fall into this pattern, but they are vulnerable to it, in large part becos of the way they are treated by society. unfortunately the pattern is extremely difficult to break, and doing so requires commitment and support. if a person is driven to act out by neurotic symptoms like these, he can't really be trusted to exercise proper judgement and control and shouldn't have unrestrained access to children. he can however work through his symptoms, and in the case of a pedophile, i think meaningful relationships with children can help enormously. ...this pov is the opposite of clinical orthodoxy, which favours a permanent segregation of pedophiles and children, which is short sighted and one reason why pedophiles are not rushing to clinics for help.

so in the case of your boyfriend, i would say this. he has already molested your daughter. most likely his only interest is in your daughter (read Lolita). he either finger fucked her and refuses to admit it or she dislikes him enuf to make it up. to her it is probably the only reliable way to get him out of the house. either way, its not fair to her.

the priority has to be your daughter. it sounds as if the court case is still in progress. surely that should be a priority as well. look after your little girl and when you are sure she is ok, visit your boyfriend in jail. he most likely isn't a monster, and maybe he will respond to some kindness, but you should be very clear eyed about his motives and your own.

thats what i think...