Re: I shouldn't hate being a pedo. (Emot. train wr

Funny, my father says I am a self-loather, and I know he's right, although at times it's hard to actually identify in myself. I really need to read up on this concept, I think.

Compassion and fearlessness. Compassion, I am learning, slowly but surely, and certainly in a not so easy way. A friend of mine (who was also a friend of one of the friends I fell out with), died at age 21 of cystic fibrosis. Her death slammed into me like a train. She actually looked very young, almost like a PT. Very pretty. I have always been able to grieve death well, but I was a weeping basketcase in front of both of my parents, even when I thought I knew I'd be strong.

Fearlessness, I still need to work on badly. I have, of late, complained about spontaneity being lacking in my life. Not because I necessarily am craving it, but because I feel like I bore people. I need to just do something. Something out of the norm, and see how it feels. A band I just discovered and love, are playing nearby next week, I think. I need to check it out. Might help with fear, and with obsession.

I'll look up Pema soon!