Thank you for facing your fears

I can't tell you how much we appreciate your questioning. Someone who is not a pedophile, yet asks reasonable questions and does not hate us is almost a release for us. We have to deal with rather nasty judgments that we live with all our lives and it is not fun knowing that the whole world has forsaken us based on something about ourselves that you have no control over.

I want to point out something that might help you: statistically, the majority of child molesters are NOT pedophiles. Let me repeat that: the majority of child molesters are NOT PEDOPHILES. They are what's called situational offenders, but they do not necessarily have a preference for children.

I've had a girlfriend who I confessed my attraction to. Her name was Jenn. She was molested by her father, and then when she was 13, by her cousin. It was gut-wrenching to hear. Even now my hands tremble thinking about it. I am a pedophile. that word is Greek. It means "child lover". I love children. When I explained who I was to her, it took a couple days, but I met her again, and in a very emotional state, she said "Davis, you've changed my life." I'm getting emotional and it hurts me knowing that you've had upsetting experiences but you don't want to blame us for it.

I still can't understand why someone can be sexually attracted to a little girl. When I see one of them, I just think of princesses and cardboard castles, tea parties, playing with mom's make-up and things like that. I thought about it a thousand times but I still can't understand why anybody would be aroused by them, they're so tiny and fragile, an adult would hurt them if s/he tried anything sexual with them. They don't even understand sex yet!

I have two gay roommates. They have a sexy calender of firemen that I pass by everyday. I can look at that image of the fireman with suspenders for days, and I STILL won't understand how anyone can be aroused by it. It doesn't make sense! But I don't try to understand it, I know that God made me a certain way where I can't understand it. I wish I understood my attraction. I would love to know why I feel this way.

I remember the first time I masturbated (I was 9). I didn't understand what I was doing. I hadn't a clue! But I knew it felt good, and that I wanted to do it again for the rest of my life. The question is why is *understanding* something a prerequesit to appreciating it? Did you play doctor with friends you knew when you were young? Obviously sex games at 6 is not the same as adult/adult sex, but it's still sexual.

If you feel scared about letting your niece out of the house for fear of real predators, I have the secret to preventing that. Are you ready? You might not want to hear it. Okay, her we go:

I was chatting with a young girl named Meg I know. I've never done ANYTHING illegal with her, but I love her. She told me how she was abused when she was younger by her step brother. I was glad that she was able to talk about it openly, but her mother had been telling her horrible things. Meg said that her mom told her that no one should EVER touch her anywhere "bad". My blood began to boil.

I said, "Meg, could you sit down please?"

"Why?"

"Please, for me?"

"Okay, what?"

"I don't know what kind of garbage your parents have been dumping into your head, but there isn't a single inch, not ONE MILLIMETER of your body that is "bad". There is no part of your body that is bad to touch either. what makes it bad is how *you feel about it*. When your brother touched you, did it make you feel bad?"

"Yeah."

"It made you feel uncomfortable right?"

"Right."

"Well, THAT is what makes it bad. One day, you will find a boy who you like, and he will touch you in a way that makes you feel confused. you will think 'Oh my God! What is he doing?' What you should do is listen to your body. Is your body telling you 'this feels uncomfortable; I don't like this' or is it saying 'this is nice; I like this." That is what will tell you whether it is bad or not. Listen to your body; trust your body."

The secret to keeping your niece safe is giving her control over her own body and giving them respect. If you give them that, then they can fend off molesters relatively easily.

Why do you think you're attracted to LG?

I...well...I guess because they are full of life, and energy. They see the world as it is, not as society wants them to see it. Physically, they have Beautiful skin, flawless! I remember first noticing it when I was 13, how they were different than the girls my own age.

- If a pedophile molests/has sex/tries to have sex/takes nude pics of a LG *I'm not talking about a teen here, I'm talking about a child*, do you think that is a correct behavior?

The NO-NO line exists HERE: if the child *doesn't want to*, then it's wrong. END OF STORY. PERIOD! FIN. The child might be forced into it, or coerced, but if the child doesn't want to, it is wrong, immoral, illegal, and sinful. It is what the child thinks about the experience that matters to me.

I am attracted to women too. But my PREFERENCE is with LGs. I'm sorry, but that's how I've felt all my life.
- Are you sexually attracted to other people/things/whatever or just LG? If the answer is yes, do those interests have anything in common with the one discussed here? Why?

I'm not sure what you mean.

Thank you for your time, your answers and for reading this really long post.

Ditto. ;) Thank you so much for coming here and facing your fears.