Re: Questions

What Kea said.

In hindsight, that approach is so obvious and simple, but at the time, I think I was just too afraid of him not allowing her to go, so by convincing myself I did all I could and I did the right thing I could maintain the hope that everything would be ok.

But in the aftermath, I think it turned out for the best. She obviously had an agenda, and she was obviously attracted to me, and with my blind saunter into this I would have been in a very compromising situation with little to no desire to stop. So I needed a slap in the face to see what was right in front of me.

And as for finding what I am looking for and someone to love me back, while that is possible and even likely, it is a situation that would not be allowed at best, incarceration or death at worst. But I think I have made strides to make my peace with that. There is light at the end of the tunnel, no happy ending for us. It's just the way it is. And I have learned to enjoy the things and people around me that do bring joy, because this is all there is.