Good for you, Mosiac. This situation was a prime example of how beneficial caring MAA's can be for minors, including children. In past societies, I'm sure the value of those we today label MAA's was well recognized and I'm also sure they stuck up for children in an era where parents hardly treated kids with any degree of value (see Epstein's The Case Against Adolescence for the history of this attitude in the past).

As for feeling bad and conflicted about yourself...we have all had doubts at one time or another. It's very difficult for someone to have the types of feelings and viewpoints that we hold in today's society. The misrepresentations and lack of accurate information about MAA's, along with the total bastardization of us by the media, makes it an extremely difficult world for us to live in. This is a very difficult time period for those adults who are attracted to those who are legally considered minors in today's world.

But as this situation made clear to you, you're not a monster. The fact that your eye is drawn to minors in your AoA resulted in your saving a child from what may have been a crippling injury, or even death. To the girl's vantage point, and to that of her mother, you were an "angel." Always remember those words and remember the major contrast between who and what you are and how valuable your feelings are on the inside and that which the media reports about people like you. The contrast is glaring.

I hope after today your depression is reduced and that you never feel the need to take your own life again. Your life is far too valuable for that. Always keep in mind that a little girl is alive today thanks to the fact that your eyes were on her, and you acted without hesitation to save her life. That hardly fits the popular image of the selfish, murderous pedophile.