etc

I tend to agree with Dante's advice, and am glad that you at least see where you should be going with this. I know that it can be very difficult at times dealing with emotions like these - they can be so strong - but I know you can do it.

I do see one thing Dante didn't mention, and that is that you talk as if you are nothing without your "Joy" - but that is not true. You remain who you are - a decent and caring person with much to offer to the world - and you will get past this.

In future you may want to work on defining yourself, rather than relying on another person to give meaning to your life. It isn't healthy for you, and it isn't fair to them, either. You have demonstrated your understanding and willingness to let "Joy" live her own life in the manner that is best for her, so I know you are capable of this.