Re: What scholars?

Lolita is an obviously fictional character. Alice Liddell was a real person and a fictional character. These are facts. The problem with Mary is that many people believe she was a real person, and maybe she was. We have no real evidence either way. But people make these kinds of statements as if Mary was absolutely real and thus we can place these kinds of statements in the same category as historical facts. I can almost forgive this in people who actually believe Mary was real and was the mother of Jesus Christ; I find it harder to swallow from people like Baldur and Seamus who are atheist or agnostic. It comes across as being manipulative of the Christian posters here.

So looking at a character's age is acceptable if that character is fictional, or if the character is real and fictional, but unacceptable if the character is real or fictional?

I really don't see where you're going with this.

I see nothing manipulative (in the bad sense) about noting the obvious hypocrisy of Christians whose traditional beliefs include their god impregnating a girl of about 12 but whose modern beliefs include condemning or denying any possibility of a sexual relationship with a 12 year old. Pointing this out might be seen as a challenge to some of their beliefs (and preferably as a challenge to one particular unchristian belief), but it is not manipulative in the sense that every pastor in every church is manipulative. I am not asking anyone to refute their religious belief or to put their faith in me or to give me money - I am only pointing out to them that one of their beliefs (entirely ungrounded in the Bible or church tradition) is at odds with another belief (as illuminated by tradition and a knowledge of culture and history).

Is it manipulative in the sense of trying to get someone to change their mind? Of course it is, but it is done openly and honestly.

As for sources, a quick google search starting "Mary's age" leads to several forms of the same question, and several results where such discussions have been hashed out by others on the internets and ... most estimates range from 13 to 16 for Mary's age at Jesus' birth (i.e., 12 to 15 at conception), but guesses of 13 to 14 (12 to 13) are most common.

Which is to say that the broader community has come to the same conclusions we have, noting many of the same facts (such as a typical engagement occurring at age 12½).

Regardless of whether Mary was real, fictional, or fictional but based on fact, traditional beliefs suggest that Mary was probably 12 or 13 (but possibly a little older) when she became pregnant and even if she was older, the early Christian community would not have had a problem if she had been younger. Certainly that is worthy of pointing out to those whose mistaken notions of their own traditions have compelled them to persecute us for an attraction that has always - and in their own tradition - been considered normal and acceptable.