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Hardwired?

Posted by Dante on 2011-December-07 18:26:42 EST, Wednesday
In reply to Re: So that's a Yes? posted by Markaba on 2011-December-06 07:18:20 EST, Tuesday
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Actually, its the falling out of love bit that's hardwired.

Romantic intoxication only lasts so long. Most couples who last past the chemistry changing find other reasons to stay together.

But its the mythology of romantic love that conflates short-term chemical attractions with the cultural expectations of the loveless "arranged marriage." Those who promote arranged marriage ( which was even the norm in the West until recently ) knew that temporary chemical derangement was not something to base a lifetime commitment upon. When romantic love first showed up in history, it was rightly seen as a force that threatens lifelong commitments, not as a basis for them.

We are hardwired to bond long enough to raise the result of that bonding to potential self-sufficiency.... not Graduate School. Hence, the 7 year itch. The "itch" is only a problem if we believe the myth that we will always feel intoxicated by our partner, and only by that partner.

Dante

Dante

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