Re: adoption issues

I understand your points and largely agree with them ... in theory.

As for this: "I don't see how a black child could learn behaviors that are against your priorities that white child wouldn't."

When I was a boy I participated in a youth organization. In our group there were both blacks and whites, but there was a clear difference between the two. The black boys simply refused to participate in any meaningful way. At times I was supposed to teach them various things, but they simply refused to learn. No matter what I did to get them to participate, it wasn't enough - they expected to be given everything they needed, without having to put in any effort of their own - even practically giving them everything wasn't enough - they would put in no effort. When discipline was called for, they ignored it and went off and did their own thing.

I think their mother insisted on their attending, but these boys made nothing of the opportunity. The white boys varied in quality, but all were willing to at least occasionally learn something and to participate in activities.

Perhaps this was a product of the place and time - I suspect those boys had learned to hate or distrust all white people, and clearly they had a strong dislike for any sort of education or self-improvement. Their attitudes may have been understandable in the context of the place and time, but I simply could not deal with that sort of attitude all the time - and that's what I mean when I say that black children may have learned behaviors that are opposed to my priorities. I'm not about to waste my time educating a child who is determined to be ignorant and is set in their ways.

I know, of course, that this does not describe all or even most black children, but frankly it probably does describe more than a few who are in the foster care system. I also think this issue is largely cultural, and that is where this intersects the question of older children, who have already adapted to the culture of their parents.

But perhaps times have changed enough that this would not be as much of an issue now. Times and attitudes have changed quite a bit over the years, and I have not always been able to keep up with them.

You have given me some ideas to consider - but I think you underestimate the antagonism towards men in our culture.