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Re: Reenact?

Posted by lee lette on 2012-July-13 09:56:54 EDT, Friday
In reply to Reenact? posted by Dante on 2012-July-11 10:39:52 EDT, Wednesday
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I presume you did read the bit where the writer recognised that s/he had been abused as did his/her friend. We do not know the gender of the writer or the amount of abuse and it might be important but it seems that perhaps the friend has not come to terms with her abuse (which being the daughter would probably have been worse) as much as the writer or less likely that she has come to terms with it fully. The writer still apparently has some issues.

I am no psychologist but it seems to me that the complexities of this case make it unwise to have such a relationship until at least both parties have come to terms with and resolved their abuse and then a relationship might be formed without any baggage. Perhaps the friend is using the possible new relationship as some kind of voyeuristic re-enactment of the past as commented. I must admit although I have read many accounts of sexual abuse and had a little myself I can't place myself properly in a female perspective at that age to know exactly their feelings and how it will have affected them emotionally and psychologically. There is very little information given apart from the fact the writer did feel awkward after their new experiences. For what reason we do not know. I do know that it took a long time for my particular abuse to work its way out of my system.

If as I suspect the writer is female then this might be one problem since there is sometimes an inclination to lesbianism because of the abuse in those who suffer sexual abuse as children - often seen in prostitutes and child prostitutes for example - since it often is the only valid sexual expression they can have that is not intrinsically tied to their abuse. No expert here I will admit but that is a possibility if quite remote.

If the writer is male and their earlier abuse involved sexual relations between him and his friend then this too could be a problem since it will as mentioned in the comments perhaps evoke re-enactments of the abuse. I think it is demeaning to simply say if they enjoy their relationship now there will be no repercussions in the future as it is quite a complex case and we can't look inside the writer's head to see what is happening. There is really too little information but caution seems eminently more suitable than just ignoring any concerns - which s/he does appear to have.

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