Re: Reenact?

It is also quite possible that there was no real abuse, and that this is why the other party does not seem affected by it.

Well that would be convenient other than the fact that she did admit there was abuse and was seeking advice from a psychotherapist.

When we see what is counted as abuse, which often includes reinterpretation of events after the fact based on the presumption that youthful sex play is always abuse, it is quite easy for a divergence of opinions to develop: one person remembers things as they really were, the other begins to see events from a skewed perspective, as they are encouraged to do so by society. Recent developments in understanding human memory have demonstrated that our memories are, in fact, quite faulty, and can be made worse by interference after the fact.

Youthful sex-play is not always seen as abusive and you know this. The abuse happened because an adult was involved and it was recognised to be abuse. It is true that much of our memories are faulty and yes I do know how we actually recreate them rather than simply retrieve them from some databank. However, I know my memories are crystal clear with regard to what happened to me and so I presume do many others.

The poor quality of advice that was given is likely to produce even more faulty memories, introduce tension into a formerly good friendship, and probably break up this relationship while causing psychological distress to the person seeking advice.

Something we can agree on is the appropriateness of seeking advice from newspaper columnists but if it initiates further actions towards resolving the problem then that will help. I just think there is too little information given just to say forget it all and carry on regardless.