Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

The Pope has one but does not use it.
Your father has one but your mother uses it.
Nuns don't need one.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a very big one.
Michael J Fox has a very small one.

Moving right along.....

We all heard this one while storming out the door in our pajamas in a desperate quest to bury ourselves in the field of fresh snow just outside the threshold of our homes. "Put a jacket on! You'll catch your death out there!" she'd scream, especially if this was all taking place in the 1950s. That's just like your mom to "kill your buzz" and "cramp your style" when all you wanted to do was skinny dip down in the ol' (half-frozen) fishing pond. So against your will you ended up waddling out the door bundled in seven layers of clothing, all due to your mother's half-cocked misconceptions about colds.

In your mother's defense, there's a definite causality between cold weather and colds, but we'll get to that in a moment, after explaining why she's so horribly, horribly wrong. You see, the "common cold" is caused by the rhinovirus.

What your mom misunderstood about our friend the rhinovirus is that he is just that, a virus. Viruses are pure undead malevolence encoded into genetic material and wrapped up in a creepy protein shell. They aren't even technically alive, so temperature has no affect on them. They're just tiny zombies that you can't even shoot in their microscopic zombie heads.

So why do people get a cold when it's cold out? It depends on who you ask, but if you ask Robert Bradsher M.D. you'll learn that "cold weather usually makes people stay indoors, which might increase the person-to-person transmission of respiratory viruses." Really, if your mother was smart and well informed she would have kicked your ass outside so she could enjoy her Southern Comfort, childless home and germ-free air.
It should also be noted that when you did finally catch that cold, your mom starving your cold and forcing orange juice down your throat did absolutely jack-all for curing you.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15916_your-mom-lied-5-common-body-myths-debunked.html

By the way, the answer to the riddle, above, is a last name. And you were thinking...?

My wife constantly complains of how her face is showing her age. I am constantly telling her just how much her Asian looks turn me on.

Who's right?

How can Gimwinkle be guilty of what some LEO is thinking?

Just because I hug a little girl sitting on my lap, doesn't mean I want to fuck her. Yet I will tell you that I am, in the literal sense of the word, a pedophile. Just because I was convicted of and spent many years in prison for government defined crimes against a little girl, doesn't mean I did fuck her.

Regarding this post and every post I write about myself describing my past, be advised that I was tried, convicted, sentenced to a very long time in prison, and I served the complete sentence. Be further advised that I am no longer practicing illegal activities today and that I refrain from doing so by my own choice, not from fear of legal entanglements or society's outrage. I remain crime free because I choose to.