"Sex is fundamentally OK" should be understood to only apply when both parties are willing. Other criteria may apply, but that one is always there.

Agreed, although I suspect we may apply this differently.

It's such a relief to read this post again after trying to read Dante's reply. Everything here is sensible. I agree with most of what you've written here -- and areas of disagreement could be explored in civil fashion if we wanted to.

Thanks, I appreciate the kind words. It's nice to reach common ground, and in fact I believe it to be imperative for this community, as it is with all repressed minority communities trying to get ahead in the world.