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I didn't call anyone

Posted by rainbowloom on Wednesday, February 07 2018 at 6:57:03PM
In reply to Drawing a line in the Sand Right here and now posted by kissbyalice on Wednesday, February 07 2018 at 01:39:35AM

I already said way too much through text. I wasn't trying to excuse myself or be apologetic since I sincerely believe I have nothing to apologize for. But they were telling me about how they love me very much, but it was "inappropriate" for me to visit them at this point in time because they were very hurt that I wasn't "truthfully honest" with them up-front. It seems to me like they just don't know how to respond to it.

Her Dad did say he believes from the bottom of his heart that I wouldn't harm a hair on either of his kids' heads. So that's good.

But I love them very much as well (although obviously I care more about my relationship with my girl) and because of my caring nature my immediate reaction when someone says I have hurt them is to try and find some way to make them feel better about the situation.

So I wrote a bunch of unnecessary stream-of-consciousness shit and haven't had any contact with them since.

I don't know if I should call or not, but I feel pressured to maintain communication with them or else they might start overthinking things and then God knows what. And he did ask me to call him. But then again, that was prior to the whole writing him a short novel on Facebook trying to get him to see why I might have not felt it was a good idea to enlighten him about my sexuality way back when.

In the meantime I'm trying to get an iPhone that I spent $250 getting fixed for her mailed to her. Maybe that will trigger something good and give everyone a break from the negativity, and maybe I'll even get a verbal thanks from her or some form of contact at least - but I honestly just want to hear her voice.

To be completely honest this is all too much right now especially since there's nothing much I can really do to help anyone so I'm trying to just focus on my meditation. LOL.

Don't worry too much about me. It'll blow over eventually I hope. But Thank You sincerely for all the support and maybe I'll see you soon in chat and we can have a more real conversation.

Peace everybody.

~ Rainbro

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