I am safe and sound, in a familiar and welcoming place, surrounded by people who genuinely believe in my good nature.

My best friend is an MVP and I am forever in debt to him.

I still have more allies than enemies, but there is one persistent threat (my father's family from which I've been disowned). I am doing everything I can to distance myself from said threat without separating from the chosen family I still have left. I am applying to any jobs I can get

I still maintain hope that in due time, my niece's family will remember the sweetheart that I have always been to them and allow me some kind of contact, but sadly for now there is no choice but for me to do as Hajduk suggested and count the days until she gains enough freedom to reach out to me of her own accord, and pray for that to happen as soon as possible. In the meantime there is sadly no further way for me to be of benefit to her from this position, so I must focus on making advances to better said position, and perhaps when I am properly secure and independent I will somehow earn an opportunity to reopen a discussion. But until that discussion can be properly had between myself and the people who chose to cast me away, I must protect myself by severing all communication with them. Thus, until something changes, my stalemate persists. Please do not discuss my family situation or my relationship if you meet me in chat or on this board for that matter, as that collection of thoughts is too depressing for me to confront at this time and I need to maintain focus on those matters which I can immediately affect.

I still have connections that allow me time with kids. I am still a friend to all children in every possible sense and being around them in any capacity is enough to have a lightening effect on my soul - but just barely. Enough to keep a smile on my face, at least.

No girl will be pursued romantically until I receive permission from Her or until I otherwise receive notice that She is dating boys or She has otherwise moved on from what was happening with us (maybe it's the type of relationship you never completely move on from; I know she'll always love me, is what I mean, but sometimes circumstances don't allow love to win for whatever reason I guess). I'll still be friends with girls in any case, because it's very important to my own confidence among other areas of my self-esteem. I can still take shelter in small moments of joy as the storm rages on in the background.

Peace.

~ RBL