I'm still here.

Life's had its ups and downs of late. I keep meaning to stop by here and never get around to it. RG is such a difficult girl to read of late. Before she was a tween, she was easy, but as she grew into a tween, she's much more closed off. I think she's aware enough now of how an adult and a child are seen by society, and trying to fall into line with what is expected. I could be wrong. I just don't know. With the girls her age I've known through the internet, it is generally the opposite experience, but that's online and usually those girls' first real chance to break the mold. I let RG break the mold far earlier, when she wasn't aware that she was being put in a mold. I wonder if that has something to do with how difficult she is now. Maybe it's just my close proximity to her. I'm not some novelty older friend online, I'm involved in her personal life. I don't know what caused the change in how she behaves. I've blamed myself endlessly, yet I've yet to figure out what I could have done to blame myself for. She is still the most beautiful girl, and I hope that as she grows, our relationship will regrow to what it was. Though I wish I could have experienced a relationship with her back when I met her as such a young girl, I would happily take her hand at 18 or beyond if such is the case.

The girl known as "11 year old" (a very old name now) has had the most exciting news of late, though I will not speak of it here. A few of you have memos in chat, those that don't I'll probably detail it later if I find myself chatting tonight.

Cup Girl had her phone taken away months ago and only gets it occasionally on weekends and I'm not sure why. I was lead to believe she was doing poorly in school, so maybe she'll have her phone back soon. I get messages every now and then and her life seems to be going pretty well lately. She has a new boyfriend and hopefully he'll be good for her and last.

I saw Lexie (formerly My Little Girl) once so far this year. It was rather bittersweet. We have grown so far apart, but I suppose I was a fool to believe that circumstances would ever allow us any future together. Perhaps I'm a fool with RG as well.

Hope all of you delightful pedos are doing well and I'll try to be less absent. This place is an online home to me.