Cousin never opened herself to me. She is now paying the price. I didn't do anything. The consequences of her actions caught up with her.

Rroma opened herself to me. Yet she still chose to allow the easier paths to win over the harder ones. She doesn't hurt yet, but she will. I didn't do anything to bring any outcome about. Again, the consequences of her actions caught up.

Raccoon opened herself to me; uselessly because she still chose against my better advice over and over, for years and with many chances to change course on time. She is starting to hurt (though she's still in denial), and will hurt more over time, and again, all through the consequences of her actions.

I committed some mistakes with Gunner. Few, no more than a handful; and yet some of those were terrible. Even so, she opened herself to me. But for every word from mine trying to lift her up; she believed better in the words of others pulling her down. Today she doesn't hurt. This week she won't. But she will. Someday. And soon. She can still turn around, in theory, but there is no real reason or incentive for that. So she will not. And she will hurt.

The sad thing is that I'm so bitten and so hardened that I became indifferent to the girls I lost. I wouldn't take Cousin or Raccoon back anymore. I am very unlikely to take Rroma anymore; and I'd certainly set her conditions for it. As time goes by, Gunner is joining them.

---

I've learned better than to call any girl or any stage the "last" one.

But the way I'm seeing life at the moment, considering not just my current LGFs, but the girls I realistically think I can become acquainted with, and the perspectives I have at the moment regarding my personal development in other areas, I don't see any chance for new LGFs if Gunner isn't in the mix. Her choice not to be in the mix is a decision on my future too.