I googled "rainbowloom pedophile" in a moment of boredom and found this old thread:

https://www.annabelleigh.net/messages/717453.htm

I read through it and I found it quite shocking just how much I have changed in less than two years. I am a very, very different person now from who I was then... for the better.

What I have learned:

No one can accurately predict, or set up, the circumstances and events and personalities that eventually lead to a romantic connection. You do not simply insert yourself into another's life hoping it will lead somewhere you want it to go (you can, but it's futile); rather, you come into each other's consciousness mutually over time. As you make a conscious decision to truly love the other, unconditionally in a given moment with the whole of your organism, you strengthen the knot that fate has tied between you.

When the knot becomes impossible to untie (and you recognize this), you have understood what it means to be in love.

You can love the same person romantically (at any given time) and holistically. As long as the holistic love is the underlying force, then you have something worth protecting.

The post I made that started this old thread (on mentorship) was backwards minded and immature. I said, "I want this kind of knot: here are the conditions under which I can expect it"; it doesn't exist.

You have no more power to untie the knot than you had to tie it yourself in the first place.

The circumstances, events, and personalities that create any relationship of any type are unique. To categorize any relationship is not to extract the essence of it and define it; it is to factor out a part that can fit the narrow definition and ignore the essence of it altogether.

Where I used to say, "this is why pedophilia should be incorporated into society and here is how"; now I say:

What the fuck do you think you are doing trying to hack apart my knots with your dull, rusted scissors?

(... Probably because you think you have the power to prevent knots from being tied; the same power with which you think you can tie or untie them.)

I should thank my Little Family Member for teaching me this lesson, first and foremost.

I should thank you, too.

Thank you!

~

R a i n b o w l o o m