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Eh.

Posted by Balto on Tuesday, July 31 2018 at 11:50:46PM
In reply to Much more often posted by billi on Tuesday, July 31 2018 at 10:08:37PM

You cannot know this. There are no studies...of course.. that would suggest/prove this. We only know what pedophiles say, using vague terms and words like 'usually', "much more often" "most"... and so on, and their opinions are completely based on their own self-interest.

What???!

We only know what pedophiles say?

I'm sorry, but who is listening to pedophiles right now?

Very rarely do we get to know what pedophiles say. Yes, from my knowledge of the way this orientation functions, as well as my (limited, maybe, compared to most) knowledge about our community above and below ground, of course coloured by my own world views somewhat, my general sense is that it's much more common for a kid to outgrow a pedo from the kid's POV than from the pedo's. You'll find most here agree.

Our opinions aren't "completely based on our own self-interest". That's ad hom. My opinions are influenced by a certain amount of self-interest and balanced by a fair amount of other-interest, namely the person of significance in question.

Likewise, you must see that your own opinions are informed the same way.

But what about the children/tweens/teens who are not even included in these best-case scenarios?

Are they worthless?

Are they and their fledgling feelings to be ignored?

How can this be?

Are you saying that such a thing....children devastated by the end of LOVE....never happens? Cannot happen?


Um.

No?

I didn't say any of that whatsoever.

Buuut it's a pretty universally agreed-upon resolution that it's better to love and to lose than to never have loved at all.

And in a similar vein, you don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Not every relationship between a MAP and a kid looks the same. Law of probability says some are bad. (The truth is though that every relationship is unique.)

(The overall point you're trying to get across is not clear to me, but you mentioned legality in your first post so I'mma go there.)

We don't need to sacrifice the prospective good (regardless of whether we disagree on how often it is good vs bad in retrospect and for what reasons) - the LOVE - in order to prevent the bad from happening where the bad isn't predisposed to happen.

You're saying it is in general, and I'm telling you it isn't, in general, except of course through the intervention of third (hysterical) parties.

You can believe me or not; but either way we CERTAINLY don't need to be punishing the relationships which are loving and lasting just because the people in them happen to fall on different sides of an age line, or are at different life stages.

There's a better way. The current way of dealing with these relationships (statutory rape, "age line") is archaic. Surely we can narrow down more than that the type of relationship which we really do not want, and target that type of relationship effectively... instead of a smearing an entire minority in a moral outrage about child exploitation; (well, we actually didn't have anything to do with that; it's exploitation not because it's a child, but of course because it's exploitation).

But, an intimate, non-familial, even romantic level relationship can indeed exist between a minor and an adult and be based on something other than abuse and exploitation.

So then in terms of legality, and what pedos want, it's less about creating an avenue for an increase in instances overall (both good and bad) and more about desperately begging nons to acknowledge that the good exists and should be spared the wrath of the criminal justice system as well as stigma and other institutional types of suppression, repression, oppression.

And there are ways for it (the good) to be spared.

It's just we're still largely trying to convince you (nons) that the spectrum of good does exist and warrants being spared.

"Why does anyone love at all if they might eventually not?"

Meanwhile, that's what you're asking?

Why does anyone bother having butterfly feelings about an attractive someone, since most likely nothing would come of it, except that something might?

~ Loom







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