I don't feel like a nice guy right now. My heart is full of an aching, searing, at times paralyzing hatred towards so many "loved ones" that I really don't want or even necessarily have the capacity to be nice.
Those people that hurt you are people who didn't understand, and didn't want to understand. They are ignorant. I hate what they did to you and your little lady love, but I do not hate them. Instead, I feel sorry for them. Do not turn into the type of people they are, because you're too good for that.
In contrast to the ignorant, the people here not only do understand and fully empathize, but we sympathize and share your sorrow. Not to mention value all you have to offer both the community and the world in general *supportive hugs*
And guess what? So does the girl you love and who loves you in return, despite how you two got forcibly separated from each others' lives. I'm very sorry you two got hurt because of the ignorance and hatred of others. So, let's not get consumed by the very thing that caused them to do what they did.
The fact that you are such a nice guy is what made both this community and your little lady love grow to care so much about you. I'd be willing to bet that she would not like to see you this way, because that wouldn't resemble the guy she fell in love with.
Especially to someone whose sole purpose is to step on others' nerves.
Which likewise makes him something to pity rather than hate, if this is seriously what he gets off on. No need to give someone like that exactly what they want, though. And no need to be particularly nice to him; just not explode on him like that.
At some point you wanna get dirty with the people spreading the dirt,
Been there, felt that, and sometimes done that--so I do know how you feel and fully understand.
and if a mod wants to intervene - as they have already - I won't complain. They can go ahead and ban me.
Have you ever considered this may be precisely what Billi wants? More importantly, have you also considered how much the rest of us whom you do respect would not want to see you gone? And that we want to continue being here for you, and having you continue to be here for us? Having you banned would be a tremendous loss for all of us--except for Billi and, likely, Ethan; one less thorn in their sides. Personally, I do not think they are worth getting banned over, since you would only feel good about the venting for a very brief time, until what the consequences wrought fully sunk in. And we wouldn't feel good about losing you at all :-(