I should drink more often.
Also, my family is toxic.
Also, I might never see my niece again; but the pain is becoming more manageable.
WHY do they have to make it so fucked up? No, it's not fucked up because I did or didn't do the wrong or right things... It's fucked up because they make it so, by defining me as a pedophile instead of a person and by rejecting a reality where we mutually fell in love for an invented one where I am inexplicably a villain - and she the almost-victim. And they will never, ever see.
I have to be the friend of all children because it's my nature, and I WILL get this diploma (privately, with ample distance from the toxic family that uses my sexuality to try to disarm me and feels a false, offensive moral responsibility to tell parents of kids I interact with that I am a pedo).
(FUCK YOU. I hate you. Rot.)
Yet I have so much LOVE. Only an enlightened few can ever see past their brainwashing the love within my heart. The little ones see too. But they don't have power or access to words to make things alright again.
Others can sense it... but they cannot see. They know, but they cannot understand. So they make up some bullshit so that it can work out to what their preconceptions (beliefs) demand.....
I will prove you wrong, fuckers. And to my friends: I will prove you right.
And thank you.