And you can HAVE that if you WANT that, but it's up to you to come and get it; and that would have to wait until you're "of age" because I would never ever risk doing anything that would cause you harm, regardless of whether you'll think it comes from me or the ones actually perpetuating it.
I say this because I put my faith in you over your parents because I sense more goodness in you than there is in them.
And on the topic of that: you're welcome. The power is now in your hands to live with whichever parent you want at any given time, and you will be better off for it. Your stepfather might start treating you somewhat better and your mother will stop treating you worse because his stress was that contagious. You will also probably have more freedom from each of them.
If you miss me and want to see me, you must simply persist that to them. They are going to hate me until you do as long as they can help it, and that is unfortunate but YOU have the power to change that - not me.
And you can choose not to. (I'm okay with that.) Or you can choose to wait. (I'm okay with that too.)
In the meantime, I have nothing at all to fear.
So I'm gonna start on my way back now.