I never spanked my kids. I had no need. If B2 wanted to touch a dangerous thing (I can't think of an example at the moment), I would not slap his fingers but, rather, simply prevent him from doing so. The more he persisted, the more I prevented him until he gave up. Should it happen again, I would again prevent him. Once he got older and I knew he understood the consequences of his actions, I allowed him (within reason) to make his mistake and suffer the results. But, under your definition, would not this prevention of the B2 be emotionally abusive? He surely would cry at not getting his way.