Okay, not absolute control; you can't control what these failsons do.

However, you know what the exact effect of that is going to be. You know how every instance of the reaction and counterreaction is going to play out. As such, you can move through this with total knowledge of past, present, and future.

:)

I assume I don't need to keep elaborating. Technically, you could get these failsons to stop; it's a very-failed defensive reaction to their own failings, so as a stress disorder, if you worked your ass off to coddle them, told them they were awesome regardless of whether they are right now just to twiddle their low self-image, and so on, you might be able to reduce or stop it... but that's a lot of constant emotional work for what could be very small, fragile micromitigation, unless you can find a way to structure the environment to do this for you.

Exposure to nature is nice.

Someday - with more personal stability

This. You're in a very visible state of constant collapse and showing the intellectual rigidity which comes from toxic stress.

Take care of yourself...