God said it, I believe it, that settles it.

Yup.

Thou shalt not... and 10 things thou shalt not do.

Why?

Because Gimwinkle said that GOD told him that THIS is what GOD wants YOU to know/do/be sorry for... whatever.

It's a spiritual thing, you know? Spiritual things are spiritual and cannot be analysed by science because only spiritual things are above science stuff. When GOD tells me what spiritual things YOU have to do/not do/think of/not think of, I must obey GOD and tell you. Nuclear physicists cannot raise the dead, cannot part the Red Sea, nor give you everlasting spiritual heaven. I can. I am a spiritual master and in complete communication with GOD. If you don't want to got to hell/burn in fires/suffer horrible things for all of eternity, you have to do what GOD tells me to tell YOU what to ......

Yup. And, send $5 to my spiritual healing group, take off your clothes and let my spiritual penis glorify GOD by inseminating you, your children, and your pets. Grab a sword/gun/rocket launcher/stick of dynamite and go kill those evil "not-GOD-people" and you will have everlasting good feelings. And sex. And no disease. And all the money you can spend.

Oh, and by the way, your four cylinder, diesel Maserati needs all eight spark plugs rotated, transmission fluid filtered and heat treated, and both muffler bearings need replacing. Tires look good but it wouldn't hurt to have them demagnetized once a year or so.

Plus tax.