So we're agreed at who the intelligent ones are, though I'm sure on this board it's automatic universal assumption...

Of course. But, contrary to popular opinion, we're right. Children are hardwired to learn very fast. Survival of the species is predicated on it.

As for written Chinese, from what little I can discern, entire words must be memorized in one or two characters per word.

Here's one I found to be quite educational:

https://cdn11.bigcommerce.com/s-7va6f0fjxr/images/stencil/1280x1280/products/46416/62655/Chinese-Symbol-Blow-Job-Sex-Vinyl-Decal-Sticker__60474.1506200416.jpg?c=2&imbypass=on