Another Ex-TV Flame Sucked into the Whore Matrix

So I'm standing in the checkout line, behind that person that always wants to write a check or doesn't realize their food card balance reached zero two weeks ago from all the cases of drinking water bottles they emptied out to redeem for drug cash...

And so, resigned to it, I gaze at all the vapid magazine covers of weekly pop culture assault, and my eyes stop in curiosity upon one face. I know this face, don't I? Or I once knew it perhaps.

It's Emma Roberts on the cover of Cosmo, standing in her underwear(and really, what else would she be wearing?), holding a margarita, with a catchy phrase desperately trying to keep her edgy and relevant.

So I let out a sigh. It had taken me a while to realize the wonderful girl full of innocent goodness and future potential that she played on Unfabulous was really nothing at all like her real self, other than the visual aspect. I think that truth cemented in me a few years back seeing her debaucherous socialite behavior going on at Coachella. For that reason, I can't say I was surprised to see her in that way. I think I was just more surprised to see her reappear at all. I guess the narcissism of the aunt that I always despised runs in the family, or maybe I should just feel sad that she's one of her role models.

I'm sure the girl she played when she was younger really exists out there even today. I truly love that girl.

I hear Emma did a few movies even before that, and that she was a real cutie pie. I wouldn't buy them and I don't think I'd find them anywhere else. She should have played a girl who's pedo knight in shining armor swept in to whisk her away to a new life before the industry got its claws into her and trained her to become a plastic, self-absorbed glorified camwhore where fame is the only measure of self-validation, and doing favors for really gross creepy dudes is part of the job.

It's alright to be a terribly naughty whore, but that should only take place in private, with us. In public, girls should really be respectable.

Ahh, well. I loved the girl she played, and I know she's a girl who really exists out there in the world somewhere. I guess the message didn't sink in though. It's better unfabulous.