Excellent questions

If you had not been caught, when do you think would you have lost attraction to your little lover?

She was 10 when I got arrested. That was close to my limit. I would imagine She would have outgrown me within a few short months, but no more than a year. I know this from hindsight. At the time, it was not something I would think of thinking.

Were you dreading the night she wanted you to perform and you could not?

No. I was stupidly blind. Mono-maniacal, as I called it. Quite a few times in the past, She had indicated that She was not willing to be with me at that time. So I respected Her wishes. Later, She didn't seem to mind. But, She never asked me, directly, to pleasure Her. It was just something She welcomed when I made it known what I was about to do. Anyway, at no time did I ever have to "rise to the occasion" for Her. I never had sex with Her (as a famous man once said.) I was always pleasuring Her, orally. That, I can do for any female.

Had she met you at prison gate to have you legally, when you got out - would you have been able to?

No. Even today, when I saw an internet photo of Her, it was nothing for me. Had She wanted me to pleasure Her, then yes, of course. But I would get nothing out of it other than the small pleasure of pleasing a female.