Gimwinkle, thank you so much for simply taking the time to care. The two earlier responses were not much to my liking.

Admittedly, it was a weak moment for me last night. My post was more a cry for help. I doubt that I would ever take my own life, but even thinking about it worries me. And I certainly would never don a suicide bomber vest, as was suggested, in order to increase the collateral damage.

I'd lost ALL of my savings on a stupid investment; and won't be getting any more until next month. I haven't been sleeping due to severe sleep apnea and a broken CPAP machine. And the power had just gone out in my apartment, the AC was off, and inside temperature was over 90. I was forced to flee to the library both for creature comfort and internet access.

I realize that there are severe karmic consequences for committing suicide. Of that I have no doubt. So, I have to find some other ways to mitigate the pain. I also realize that I am obliged to remain true to my present life path, however difficult and unfair it may seem.

So, thank you again. May your blessings multiply one hundred fold.