Imaginary lovers never turn you down. When all the others turn you away, they're around. It's my private pleasure, midnight fantasy. Someone to share my wildest dreams with me. When ordinary lovers don't feel what you feel, and real life situations lose their thrill, imagination's unreal. They're always there when you need satisfaction guaranteed.

Because of... well, the way life is, I am left with the above. As Wifey always says, "Better than nothing."

(With a nod to ARS.)