A true but silly story.

I was quiet around the campfire listening to two slightly drunk women talk about sex appeal. One of them recently got a boob job she was proud of. She asked me if I wanted to see them.

No thank you.

Why not? I thought guys like big boobs.

Not me. I'm not really attracted to women.

Oh, she had that look on her face of 'one of those'.

I decided to have some fun. No, I'm not attracted to men either.

Oh, now a look of suspicion.

Birds. (They were all around, waiting to clean up after our sloppy meals)

Huh?

Little birds. The way they pump when they walk and those smooth feathers. It's the only thing that gets me hard.

Silence.

Shame though, I'll never get to taste that love. I mean how could I ever know if they were consenting or not? It's like they're not allowed to consent. No one would honor it. I can never have the objects of my desire. It's very sad.

More silence. Then, her friend says, "you're a freak" and got up, walked away.

Am I?

I dont know says boob job lady.

I dont either. The end.