Rainbowloom seems to have quite a good grip on realistic psychology.

As the joke goes, "At my age, if it doesn't hurt, it doesn't work." Well, mine still works. Before, I would have to "go to work" twice a day. Occasionally, my little lover would have me "working" a third time. Today, I'm slowing down quite a bit. Once a day or so seems to be it.

When I was on my extended vacation, I knew a fellow who was much more addicted than I or anyone else I'd ever met. He was a nice fellow but often stayed in his single "dwelling". It was several months later that I discovered why. He was not a pedophile but an adult female addictionist. (My word.) He was so addicted that he often went to the (medical offices) for friction burns. Every so often, a (supervisor) in the control room would be a female. He would spend the entire 8 hours at his door then called to be taken to the (medical offices). He was that addicted.

What's the difference between that kind of addiction (serotonin, endorphins, etc.) and crack cocaine or heroine?

So, Rainbowloom is right. If M gets to be an interference in your life, it needs to be controlled. And, yes, there are ways to do it. For me, it was (1) acceptance of who and what I was, and (2) permission for me to operate within limits I could accept for myself. Although I do have a cellphone with a great camera, I do not pursue imagery. It's not that any of Society's laws or opinions cause me to have this rule, but my own desire to enforce my wishes upon my "other self". And, for almost 20 years, I have lived within my OWN rules that I set. I am fortunate in that imagery that I want is not illegal, even if given to the LEO's with my name on them. I have seen the illegal stuff but it is a revulsion for me. Even adult porn is just plain ugly. Some romantic depictions of adult sex is interesting and artistic but certainly not sexual in any way for me. But, that's just my demented sexuality. (Is demented the right word here?)

Is pedophilia wrong and illegal? I don't care. It's not my concern.
I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do. So I am a pedophile and have accepted that as who and what I am.

If you need to limit your addiction, then there are ways to do so.

If you feel guilty about anything you think or do, find out WHY. Study the subject to make sure you're not falling into the "Normal is what I say it is." As a kid, I used to think that not going to religious services was a very bad thing. Today, I wouldn't go to one even if you paid me for it. I studied WHY I felt that way when I was a kid. As I told my parents, "I know something you don't."

Enjoy life, RedViolin. That's the main goal because once it's over, there isn't anything else.