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pride versus "explain this"

Posted by Eeyore on Wednesday, October 23 2019 at 03:19:11AM
In reply to FYI posted by billi on Tuesday, October 22 2019 at 06:33:09AM

I don't know his story, but I do know that relationships that last for a period of years (provided there was no pressuring or coercive interaction) tend to end badly due to learned reinterpretation of events based on standardized social mores, rather than due to the literal experience of the events themselves. It is sadly easy to convince many people that their experience of an event was not reality, without any need of even consulting the other person with whom they experienced it. Even then, and EVEN IF, the other person believes their love was also true, the events will still be dismissed as abusive. It is not just people who were children who can be molded into new interpretations of their own past experiences. Many adults are also convinced into not believing their own experience of an event, even when the other person was acting with complete honesty.

When both parties experience their interactions as completely honest, sometimes almost sacred, at the time they experienced them, it begs the question... does some third party really have the right to declare the interaction abusive and dishonest?

It would seem that any negativity from the event itself is based not in the way one person behaved, but in the dictates the local society demands them to follow, and the forced shame and victimhood cast upon the younger partner.

Your vigilant presence here suggests some sort of passion for your cause, and so it would be beneficial to see you express some sort of actual beliefs, rather than just taking cheap swipes at people all the time with your little club.

Crap, did I just post again? (Sorry, I felt the need to speak up for the Gimmy, who generally seems like a good egg. Trying to go away, I swear).



Eeyore





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