Today, I had "catacombs" removed from one of my eyes. The hardest part of the whole encounter was sitting in that damned waiting room while all the paperwork was being collected and filled out, and scrutinized. There I was shaking in my bare feet, squeezing my wife's hand until it turned white, and all the busybodies getting me ready to be killed were commenting on just how nervous I looked.

Then, this cute little 15 year old angel walked up to me, put a small "x" above my left eye and wheeled the gurney I was shaking on into the death chamber. An anesthetist poked my left hand and applied a flaming steel spike... not once, but (because the first didn't catch) twice! I didn't mind much because the pain was a welcomed distraction from the sheer terror I was going through. The cute 15 year old walked up to me and ask my name, age, and which eye I wanted burned out of my head. I told her all the information she and her evil anesthetist wanted. She concluded with, "We're going to give you your happy juice, now. It's going to be alright."

Sure enough, the world didn't matter except me staring at the young girl's flat chest underneath all the surgical costumery. She began swabbing my eye with something deep brownish black and I idly sat back and watched my eye get ripped open and twisted, and sliced, and burned, and... wait, the lights just got really fuzzy. Then a moment of black, then the lights came back.

"All done."

"That's it?"

Someone told me that I was going to be wheeled into recovery and my surgeon would come by to check on me. I asked if he would talk slowly to my wife about it all because her English is rather limited.

Nurses came about, pulled this, disconnected that, checked on and reset the alarm on my heart monitor (I have a normal 45 bpm heart rate with sets off the alarms.) Eventually, the cute 15 year old nurse came over and said that I could go home now.

"Uh, I'm supposed to be checked over by the surgeon."

She replied, "I am the surgeon."

Nurses nearby all laughed and one replied to me, "She gets that alot."

As I type this to you now, I no longer am wearing my glasses. My left eye is a bit hazy and slightly out of focus but the white background behind the text on the damned computer screen is pure white! My right eye says it's brownish.

Why am I so lucky to get very very pretty female doctors? And, I can't do anything about it. Even if they would allow it. :(