(Do these back stabbers contribute to our love for the still-honest littles?) I sometimes wonder aboot that.

A girl a few years younger than me in my teens basically "worshiped" me. but only for her own ends. She was so delicious and innocent and at first, a virgin. She was from the slightly more hardcore school, but she'd call my house in the landline days before cellphones, and sweetly ask my mom, "is Eeyore there??" Mom was sure I had hit the jackpot.

This girl used to hang on me at parties where there were people she wasn't familiar with. We even found ourselves alone on a beach by a dying bonfire once, wrapped together in a blanket with the romantic sounds of waves breaking at the nearby shoreline.

"You know, classic cheap whore, I've always been sorta fond of you in my naivety."

"Oh, Eeyore, I'm sorry (pouty face). I'm only lying with you alone wrapped in a blanky to prove to myself that I am a desirable dream to somebody, and will soon have sex with the fake poser alpha which all of you make fun of constantly, and then deny it."

(But it's okay, because she eventually fell for a smooth-talking loser who couldn't even hold down a job and apologized to me for her wicked Lilith behavior before realizing I was the sincere one who gave her a vibrator as a sendoff to college.)

Wait, what I typing about?